i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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