I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
and she was petting her beer can
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
