we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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