Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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