just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize