people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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