SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
