Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
did i just pee glitter
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
