How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
