We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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