Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Randomize
