Me. At least after what I've been through.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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