imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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