Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
