actually, I'm a sock model
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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