It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize