Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
