i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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