Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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