I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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