I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
