the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
