Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
