All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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