Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i think i just lost a toe
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
