I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
