If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
