I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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