I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize