No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize