My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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