Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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