I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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