if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
