dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
