shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
