what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
