I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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