Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
