i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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