the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
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