we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
