there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
