Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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