At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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