I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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