You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so explain again why im purple
no
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
