Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
