I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
