Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
