i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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