O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
