Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
