Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
