There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
