yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
