a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
