Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
