i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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