this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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