She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
