i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
