I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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