Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize