Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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