Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
