dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
