i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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