the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
