He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
